Earlier this month, I had the honor of being named Mr. Cachondo Leather 2024, a title that represents Latinx folks in kink and leather spaces.
It’s an accomplishment that I have strived to win for several years, since the first time I saw a leather competition held at Eagle 562 in 2017.
During that time, I have learned a lot about kinks and the leather scene and have even had the opportunity to help Orlando Bedolla with his upcoming documentary, “Encuerados.”
“Encuerados” will spotlight stories from the Latino leather and kink scenes, which have long existed in the closet.
“In general, we as Latinos come from a very conservative culture where religion casts a big shadow in how we live our lives,” Bedolla says. “It’s important to highlight the stories of Latinos who are embracing a lifestyle that, for many, is hard to understand.
“The film pulls away the stereotype that these spaces are all about sex, and reveals the honest and inspiring true stories of people who build community, who make safe places for those who have been unsafe, and who give to and celebrate life,” he says.
Since Leo Iriarte became the first Latino to win the title of Mr. LA Leather in 2011, Latinos have had more representation in the kink and leather spaces, such as the Eagle LA, Bullet Bar, and Sanctuary, where workshops provide training to practice safer play.
Kink and leather are often lumped together, but actually they are very different. In fact, leather is itself its own kink.
People that are into leather tend to use the feeling of leather, whether by wearing it, buying sex toys made of it, or using oils that have leather scents, to enhance their sexual experiences.
When we talk about kink, we talk about different things people bring into their sex lives to help arouse them.
For instance, someone may have a bondage kink. This means they like to get tied up, or perhaps their fetish is foot worship, meaning they like to look at feet, maybe massage or even lick feet.
All of these things have their own communities of folks who enjoy them, and the tools of the trade are often passed by word of mouth. These tools of the trade often revolve around how to do things safely, how to best educate folks on this information, and what consent looks like for these particular fetishes and kinks.
Unfortunately, it’s kind of an information desert on the kink and leather scenes. But we are here to help everyone entering these spaces for the first time, or just looking for a refresher course. Speaking of helpful tip, previously, we mentioned tips for sexual health during Pride season and beyond.
Here are five tips to know about the kink and leather scenes.
- “Demo Nights” These nights would probably be the best way to get an introduction to the kink and leather scenes. Events like these allow us to treat a leather bar like a Costco aisle full of samples. You can try your hand at numerous techniques and activities. Want to try electroplay? That’s where small voltage electricity tickles your most sensitive spots. Curious what it feels like to be tied up with a simple knot or the full art of Shibari, Japanese rope-knot art? Here’s your chance.
- Water: It’s important to stay hydrated. It’s preferable to begin drinking water the day before you go to a kink space. Staying hydrated means your blood flow stays consistent. In case you are tied up, circulation isn’t dramatically impaired. This also will help in case someone wants to play watersports. You’re ready to give straight from the tap. Staying hydrated means less toxins in our urine making it safer to play, even if someone chooses to ingest.
- Etiquette: Sometimes there are so many men, and so little time. You’ll be approached by them, too. Some of them will be your type, and others may not be quite what you’re looking for this time. That’s OK. But, it’s important to be kind, and let them know you have to pass. Consent is the most important aspect of all play. Never feel pressured to do something when you aren’t ready for it. The important thing is that you have fun and enjoy yourself.
- Safe words: You found a demo night to dip your toe into. You’ve hydrated to prepare yourself for whatever the night may have in store. You’ve picked the person you want to try it all out with, and now it’s time to set the rules. Safe words are vital to kink. They’re something to let the person know it’s time to stop. Sometimes the word stop is good, but if you want to create your own safe word. It could be anything, as long as you let your partner know what it is. People also like the stop light option: Green means to keep going. Yellow means to ease up. Red means stop. This allows you to experience levels to kink, push your limit, and always return to a safe space. There may also be situations where you need to prepare a safe gesture. Perhaps you’re bound and gagged or perhaps you only have hand mobility. Flashing five fingers or making a fist could be the way you tell your partner you’re done. The most important part is communication. Make sure you let your partner know the boundaries.
- After care: You’re a sweaty, scratched up mess. The flog left a few marks on your body, and it’s time to put your clothes on. Aftercare is how we check in afterward. Let your partner know what you enjoyed. Take note of any sore spots on your body and massage them. Drink more water, and tend to yourself and partner(s). Everyone should check in on their playmates after a scene to make sure they are OK. Sometimes these practices serve as a way to unwind and can cause you to experience emotions you are processing. Allow yourself to feel what you need.
Disclaimer: This information is not advice and should not be treated as such. You must not rely on the information from this post or any posts on this site as an alternative to medical advice from your qualified health care provider. If you think you have a medical or psychiatric condition, seek help immediately. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue treatment because of information found on this site/page. You release any and all liability prior to any interaction with this post and by engaging with this post in any way (including viewing, reading, liking, commenting, sharing, saving, or any other interaction).
